A many messaged chapter

Genesis 3, The Fall, studied by all the greats, written about, commented on, explored over and over. There's frankly books and books worth of teachings based in the one chapter. I also know that God in his wisdom leads each of us to the teachings related to particular scriptures that support our personal needs, pains, weaknesses and strengths. For me when I remember the fall I focus most often on Eve questioning God's goodness. She doubts him. I know so many of my actions, thoughts and emotions reflect that I doubt how good he is and how much he loves.

Reading it again and wondering about shame I think about Eve. Satan almost taunts her: "You aren't good or lovely, you could be more, you could know what he knows, you could have what he has." Maybe she felt ashamed. Did she feel small and not enough and flawed? A lot of writers say she was prideful and her sin was pride in grasping after being the same as God. And I don't dispute that. But was pride the secondary emotion? Was her pride a radical reaction to first feeling shame? My thoughts wander over how I would feel if someone pointed to something lovely and told me, "If you have that over there, you will be a better person". I don't immediately feel a sense of deserving that thing. My first thoughts are: "Yeah what I am is not enough. I could be better. I could/should be more than what I am." And yes it's pride to say God didn't make me right. As if I know better than God the way I should be. Or have we distorted our definition of pride because we're so desperate to avoid a conversation about shame?

The first definition I see listed of pride is: satisfaction with self: the happy satisfied feeling somebody experiences when having or achieving something special that other people admire. Only in the third definition is there mention of superiority and a haughty attitude.

I mean really when I was shopping on line last night was I feeling pride? "I deserve new things. I am worthy of the nicest items" NO what's really floating under there is: "Maybe I'll belong more if I look a certain way," or "Maybe that would minimize my waist" All the thoughts having the common thread of being not enough or too much. And I really don't think I'm avoiding my own pride by considering this line of emotion for Eve. I mean I have pride at times, for sure, no doubt about it. But now I wonder is the root of the pride my own struggle with shame? A feeling I had not even considered until a few weeks ago. Is this what is tripping me up and holding me back?