I've been reading the Word consistently for almost three months now. I'm using an app on my iPhone that keeps track of it all and though I've missed days I get caught up and it's good it's really good. A couple weeks ago I started going to a Friday night young adult group. I had been going to one Wednesdays but work was constantly conflicting with going regularly, either I was out of town, going to a Board of Directors meeting or getting ready to go out of town. So I prayed that God would show me a group of adults that I could connect with and talk to regularly.
My first night there JD talked about how God has been calling him to fast and he challenged us to spend the next day asking God if and how we could fast as well. The next day God and I had a great talk and identified that I would give up some sleep. I would get up earlier and I would pray for my son.
We're hitting a crisis point and the only one that can change my son's heart is God. My son has determined that he is going to try to get away with deception and half hearted efforts in school. He is disrespectful to me and pushing every boundary. More than that he is breaking my heart.
In the last month God has placed the most glorious blessing in my life. A man who loves God and walks with him every day and he likes me! He wants to know what's going on in my heart. He points me to God when I'm struggling. He prays for me. He tells me about his talks with God. He's like no one I've ever met or pictured myself with. Here I am prim proper mid-western girl glowing because of a guy who has tattoos all over him, facial hair and a life story that will make my parents cringe. But God has knit together a man that is so intelligent, can run multiple businesses at once, is a carpenter and artist, he reads several books at the same time and actually understands all the jargon and politics on FoxNews. He has learned lessons the hard way and as a result follows hard after God. He is the three things I've always said I wanted: Loves and Walks with God, has intellectual curiosity and a teachable heart.
And my son, whom I love, whom God has called me to raise, wants nothing to do with him.
And I am powerless. I am at the end of myself. I cannot change my son's heart, only God can and I ache in pain that the man who I adore is rejected by my son.
So God knew what he was doing when he told me to pray for my son and his heart and that God would get hold of him. And since I started my sleep fast I have been under attack. The enemy is furious. He is furious about how God has blessed me and determined to take out the good things in my life.
Next week it will be officially a year since I was given my dream job. In the last two weeks there have been intense challenges at work. The wonderful result of spending time with God every morning is that I have emotionally gone through the challenges better than I imagined I would. But I am being stretched, I am so at the end of myself. He is the provider. He has the answers for my workplace. He can transform my son's heart but in the meantime it's hard, it's complicated and I am handling some moments in tears, others in joy and some in frustration.
The enemy seeks to take out all good things. But God is bigger, stronger, more powerful and already the victor. I will give over these challenges to him. I will resist taking them back and trying to "fix" it myself. I will thank God ahead for all the solutions he is going to provide.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Listen to His Voice
Oh I am so excited!!! Dueteronomy 13:4 in several versions, clear as day: "Serve only the Lord your God and fear him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice and cling to him." He speaks, all the time, clear as day. His voice is available to all. and we are commanded to listen and obey not just the written word but his spoken word.
Every word in the Bible is true but he is still talking and teaching and speaking and part of following him is listening and then doing. It's so good to find such a clear directive.
I've been listening to his voice since I was a child and if you know any small children they may tell you that they hear God speak too. But something in the earthly church teaches us that he has said everything. That he doesn't speak any more. Now how is the Holy Spirit supposed to counsel us if he can't give us clear direction? How are we to apply the great truths that stand for all time to the intricacies of living without hearing his voice and counsel.
He speaks and we are to listen. And obedience and listening go together.
Every word in the Bible is true but he is still talking and teaching and speaking and part of following him is listening and then doing. It's so good to find such a clear directive.
I've been listening to his voice since I was a child and if you know any small children they may tell you that they hear God speak too. But something in the earthly church teaches us that he has said everything. That he doesn't speak any more. Now how is the Holy Spirit supposed to counsel us if he can't give us clear direction? How are we to apply the great truths that stand for all time to the intricacies of living without hearing his voice and counsel.
He speaks and we are to listen. And obedience and listening go together.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Magic
We Christians get so uptight about magic. And I don't get it. I'm reading about Moses and there's nothing but magic. Constant miracles, God speaking to him through storms and burning bushes and magic in front of Pharaoh. So let's get real "magic" and "tricks" are benign. The real issue is who is using magic, why and for what purpose? Are we as parents teaching our children discernment? Because that's what is needed. We need to explicitly talk about how Satan and those that follow him use "tricks" and "magic" to demonstrate that they have power and entice others to join them. The enemy is going to use any means to get people to corrupt their lives and their walk, he uses food, music, work all things that God has deemed good. But God uses "magic" too. We just label them as miracles, so then there's no issue for us as Christians. It's craziness! Why do we villanize magic, it in itself is not the problem. The evil is in the heart and purpose behind the magic.
I think we Westerners are just so fearful of all the ways in which God works. We are terrified of the mystical and mysterious aspects of God because we crave control and having it all figured out. We have bought into the lie that everything is matter and that there is no spirit. We've let is seep into Christianity and the church. Historically the great saints did not deny miracles and "magic" as a way that God can work too.
I went to Universal Studios and visited the new Wizarding World of Harry Potter. It was wonderful. (I can imagine the anger rising in people now). The buildings were masterfully built with great artistry and that is a gift from God. The rides, the details were cute and enjoyable and fun and God wants us to have fun in life. There did not appear to be any attempts to lure people into witchcraft or sorcery and even if there was it's my job as a parent and a believer to use discernment. I can appreciate what honors God and the gifts he gives people even when it is right next to the enemy's attempts to corrupt people. The burden lies with me to beware, use eagle eyes and identify the difference. Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. I can read books like Twilight and Harry Potter and watch the movies and not allow the enemy to rope me in.
No doubt there are some believers and some people that are vulnerable and not every child can handle some of these things, nor can every adult. That is why a conversational, living relationship with the Holy Spirit is so crucial to getting through this world. The Holy Spirit will tell you what you can handle and what you can't. He will convict, he will guide, he will counsel but are you listening? Am I listening? And then am I willing to obey. Because God is a good parent and he sees the differences in each of us and knows that we all need to be led, disciplined and guided in different ways.
So let's not get freaked out about magic. Let's freak out about relationships with the living God that will tell us what we can handle and what we need to steer clear of.
I think we Westerners are just so fearful of all the ways in which God works. We are terrified of the mystical and mysterious aspects of God because we crave control and having it all figured out. We have bought into the lie that everything is matter and that there is no spirit. We've let is seep into Christianity and the church. Historically the great saints did not deny miracles and "magic" as a way that God can work too.
I went to Universal Studios and visited the new Wizarding World of Harry Potter. It was wonderful. (I can imagine the anger rising in people now). The buildings were masterfully built with great artistry and that is a gift from God. The rides, the details were cute and enjoyable and fun and God wants us to have fun in life. There did not appear to be any attempts to lure people into witchcraft or sorcery and even if there was it's my job as a parent and a believer to use discernment. I can appreciate what honors God and the gifts he gives people even when it is right next to the enemy's attempts to corrupt people. The burden lies with me to beware, use eagle eyes and identify the difference. Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. I can read books like Twilight and Harry Potter and watch the movies and not allow the enemy to rope me in.
No doubt there are some believers and some people that are vulnerable and not every child can handle some of these things, nor can every adult. That is why a conversational, living relationship with the Holy Spirit is so crucial to getting through this world. The Holy Spirit will tell you what you can handle and what you can't. He will convict, he will guide, he will counsel but are you listening? Am I listening? And then am I willing to obey. Because God is a good parent and he sees the differences in each of us and knows that we all need to be led, disciplined and guided in different ways.
So let's not get freaked out about magic. Let's freak out about relationships with the living God that will tell us what we can handle and what we need to steer clear of.
Frequency
Numbers 28 gives a detailed description of the sacrifices that the Israelites were to offer to God everyday. There's a ton of them, everyday. And the Holy Spirit stopped me as I was reading and I thought, hmm, do I make a sacrifice even once a day? Really, what do I lay down for God each day? So as the new year begins I feel the need to get serious about sacrifice. I mean God isn't a candy machine but I have to believe that if I give more to Him then my life will change for the better.
Don't mistake me for being discontent. My life right now is amazing. I am the mother to a teenage boy who fills my life with laughter and joy. I have the job of my dreams decades before I even considered it might happen. I have a cozy apartment and want for nothing. Life is so good but there are dreams yet to be fulfilled and I wonder how my obedience and sacrifice tie into that fulfillment.
God has knit me together to desire good things to hope for big accomplishments and I think that being really obedient to him is the only way those things are going to come to pass. And really, setting aside hopes for big stuff, a life of obedience in daily things is only going to help me serve others more, be more levelheaded and remain in joy.
But I continue to battle with myself to do the daily sacrifice, to get up a little earlier, to slow down and pray before interactions with others, to not eat things that my body doesn't need. I am so human and he knows that, perhaps part of the daily sacrifices at the temple was that people living nearby wouldn't be able to ignore the smoke and the smell and that it would intrude into their daily lives as an external prompt. I need more external prompts. I want the frequency of my sacrifice to Him to increase and I need Him to show me how to get that ball rolling. So I will sit and listen and do whatever he tells me to increase the frequency of my personal sacrifice.
Don't mistake me for being discontent. My life right now is amazing. I am the mother to a teenage boy who fills my life with laughter and joy. I have the job of my dreams decades before I even considered it might happen. I have a cozy apartment and want for nothing. Life is so good but there are dreams yet to be fulfilled and I wonder how my obedience and sacrifice tie into that fulfillment.
God has knit me together to desire good things to hope for big accomplishments and I think that being really obedient to him is the only way those things are going to come to pass. And really, setting aside hopes for big stuff, a life of obedience in daily things is only going to help me serve others more, be more levelheaded and remain in joy.
But I continue to battle with myself to do the daily sacrifice, to get up a little earlier, to slow down and pray before interactions with others, to not eat things that my body doesn't need. I am so human and he knows that, perhaps part of the daily sacrifices at the temple was that people living nearby wouldn't be able to ignore the smoke and the smell and that it would intrude into their daily lives as an external prompt. I need more external prompts. I want the frequency of my sacrifice to Him to increase and I need Him to show me how to get that ball rolling. So I will sit and listen and do whatever he tells me to increase the frequency of my personal sacrifice.
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